Blog Archives

7 ways to control social media before it controls you

media

Copyright by Bob Rogers.

Social media such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have become major addictions for millions of people. Research shows that in 2018, the average person spent 2 hours, 16 minutes (136 minutes) a day on social media and similar platforms, and the numbers are increasing every year! Social media can be good, as it helps families and friends who are far apart stay in touch, but it can also be the source of adultery, bullying, political bickering, and other harmful practices. A wise person learns to control social media before it controls them. Here are seven ways:

  1. Set time limits and “off limits” times. You can adjust your settings on Facebook and Instagram so that they will notify you when you have been on the site for a certain amount of time. (I set mine to remind me at 30 minutes.) Stay off social media while at work or school. If people send you messages during work or school hours, wait until later to respond, and let them know that you are unavailable during work or class. When sitting down at a meal, agree with family and friends to put away your phones. Have “family time” that is off-limits to social media, such as 6-8 p.m.  daily-time-spent-social-networking
  2. Take precautions with the opposite sex. Social media is an easy medium for people of the opposite sex to have private conversations. Thus, married and engaged people in particular need to be intentional about taking precautions. My pastor, Dr. David Whitten, recommends that husbands and wives set up a joint account, or that they not make “friends” with the opposite sex unless they have a good reason for doing so, such as their own family members. Give your spouse your password, and give your spouse permission to approve or veto your friendship with members of the opposite sex.
  3. Turn off notifications. Tony Reinke in his book, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, points out that a major reason for the addiction is how people get self-esteem from how many “Likes” they get. Some have suffered anxiety and depression if they fail to get the “Likes” they desire. Turning off the notifications shuts off these messages—it’s like throwing away the needle for a drug addict.
  4. Make spiritual disciplines a priority. When you rise in the morning, get out your Bible instead of your phone, and get on your knees to pray instead of getting on the computer to play. Make this your daily habit.
  5. Have a “day off” and a Sabbatical from social media. Christian blogger Tim Challies takes one day a week and one week a year to be completely off social media. If you don’t feel you can take an entire day, try staying off for 12 hours straight, and then lengthen the time the next week.
  6. Delete social media from your phone, and only use it on your computer. This is an excellent way to force yourself to stay off social media when at work, eating out, etc. Let people know that if they need to reach you, they can text or call!
  7. Set other healthy goals and pursue them. Keep a good book (and The Good Book) handy and set goals for minutes reading. Get a bicycle, join a gym, go walking, plant a garden, and make these healthy exercises a priority. The best way to overcome a bad addiction is to acquire a healthy addiction!

Book review: “A Hospital Chaplain at the Crossroads of Humanity”

HospitalChaplain

Alberts, William E. A Hospital Chaplain at the Crossroads of Humanity, 2012.

This short, easy-to-read book is a series of 54 diverse vignettes that Rev. Alberts shares about people to whom he ministered as a board-certified, CPSP hospital chaplain at Boston Medical Center. He has a loving and accepting approach to all of his patients, and he models some excellent approaches and conversations to the “crossroads of humanity” who need medical care. Health care chaplains and all those who minister to the sick will relate to many stories and can learn much from his compassion and wisdom.
The book is full of touching stories and pithy quotes, such as “religion is about the Golden Rule and not about the ‘gold’ that rules,” and a patient who was transformed from “a hopeless dope addict into a dopeless hope addict.”
However, those like myself who have a conservative, deeply held personal faith will likely be distracted and even annoyed that Rev. Alberts favors those who believe that all roads lead to God, which he spells with the small “g.” He emphasizes his theological position as a Unitarian and United Methodist (more Unitarian than Methodist), and stresses his distaste for conservative politics, especially military spending. Thus it seems odd to me, as a less experienced hospital chaplain myself, that he repeatedly tells how he begins a visit by asking a person’s religious affiliation. He frequently reports that people are defensive or confused by this question, yet he continues to ask it. He even reported that patients occasionally responded with apologies for not attending church, thus showing that the question put them on the spot. Since he seems sincerely focused on serving the needs of all patients, why not just ask the patient what is happening in their lives, and let them talk about their religious affiliation if they want to do so?
The Kindle edition has a few minor errors where lines are repeated or words are missing, such as page 138.

Book review: “Out of Control”

OutofControl Ben Young & Samuel Adams’s book, Out of Control, has a very long subtitle: Finding Peace for the Physically Exhausted and Spiritually Strung Out. But the subtitle is accurate. They describe how our culture is out of control because rather than letting the greater efficiency afforded by technology such as cell phones and computers give us more time to rest, we have instead tried to cram even more activity into shorter time.
Young and Adams describe seven symptoms of an “out of control” lifestyle: out of shape (physical), out of sorts (emotional/mental), out of touch (relational), out of time, out of focus, out of balance and out of order (spiritual). Then they confront the lies that keep us out of control, particularly the idea of pleasing the world to be successful and the idea that getting rest is laziness.
The rest of the book takes a pleasantly surprising turn, as it is NOT another “how-to” book with seven easy steps. Instead, they dig into the spiritual disciplines of the Bible, and encourage the reader to practice a real “Sabbath” and take time to unplug completely from technology in order to practice the other spiritual disciplines of solitude and prayer.
This book influenced me to become more serious about unplugging from technology for a large portion of the day on my day off in order to spend more authentic time with God. It was a truly rewarding experience that I pray I will continue to explore for a long time to come.

Tattoo or not tattoo?

With permission to share, below is a question about tattoos from some college students, followed by my reply.

Hey Brother Bob! I wanted to get your opinion. We were discussing whether or not it is a sin to get a tattoo. One of the verses brought up was about keeping your body holy and the thought process was that any permanent markings (piercing of any kind, tattoos, etc) was making the temple unholy. Another thought process put on the table was that tattoos were ok except memorial tattoos because that is specifically what Leviticus said the pagans did to mourn their dead and we shouldn’t do that. Another thought was even Christian tattoos (i.e. crosses, Jesus fishes, etc) weren’t cool because its too much like trying to be like the world. The other thought was that as long as it was easily coverable (so as not to offend and turn off the lost), you didn’t do it because everyone else was or it became an obsession and it was something you really thought about and talked to God about, it was ok. Lastly, the thought that it was just like picking out clothes, not that big of a deal and no need to even consult Scripture… I just wanted to ask you how Scripture spoke to this issue…

My reply:
On the subject of tattoos, I would basically agree with the second view, that “memorial tattoos” violate Leviticus 19:28: “‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.”

We have to be careful about projecting our cultural viewpoint on this issue, and make sure that we are following scripture, not tradition. The views that permanent markings make the temple of your body unholy, or that it is too much like trying to be like the world, are viewpoints that make an assumption that all tattoos are unholy and worldly. What evidence is there that all tattoos are unholy and worldly, other than tradition and personal preference? Similarly, some would point to Leviticus 19:28 and say the Bible says not to put tattoo marks on yourselves, but if you read the context, it is referring to tattoo markings as a memorial to the dead in pagan practice, just as you mentioned in your email. If someone insisted on a blanket ban on all tattoos based on Leviticus 19:28, to be consistent he would also have to ban all haircuts based on the previous verse, which says “do not cut off the hair at the sides of your head…” Without looking at the background, one might assume this forbids haircuts, but from Leviticus 21:5, 1 Kings 18:28 we can determine that this was a pagan practice, and the concern was to avoid a pagan practice.

Most people would agree that haircuts are permitted, but if there was a haircut commonly done to worship some false god, then we should avoid that. For example, Christians in Thailand would want to avoid getting haircuts that look like Buddhist monks.

If you apply this same logic to Leviticus 19:28, then you would have to say that the Bible is not necesssarily banning all tattoos, but it is warning against pagan tattoos. Deuteronomy 14:1-2 and Jeremiah 48:37 also refer to cutting of the body as common in pagan religion, so it would appear that this was the problem with tattoos in Leviticus 19:28. So basically, I would agree with the second viewpoint in your email.

Two other points to consider about tattoos:

1) Tattoos should be done by a professional, to avoid health risks. (Remember, the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.)

2) Tattoos should not be placed on private body parts (breast, buttocks, etc.) by a person of the opposite sex, as this is immodest and sexually provocative contact between the sexes.

3) Remember that scripture teaches us not to do something which would cause your brother or sister in Christ to stumble (see Romans 14, especially verse 21.) That’s why, in my personal opinion, tattoos that can be covered by normal clothing are preferable. In a follow-up email with the student, I discovered that this subject came up because of a desire to put a tattoo on the foot with the words “Send Me” as a reminder to go where God would send, based on Romans 10:15. Certainly a tattoo like this that reminds a person of his or her calling and is covered and does not call attention to oneself cannot be said to be unholy. In fact, its very holy, indeed!