Category Archives: Christian Living
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
Here are four lessons I have learned from a thorough study of Jesus’ prayer life:
1. The priority of prayer. He made prayer a high priority. Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16; 6:12-13; 11:1. If prayer was so important for Jesus, how much more necessary is it for us?
2. The privacy of prayer. He constantly prayed in private. Matthew 14:22-23; Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16; 9:18. Oh, how we need to get alone with God like Jesus did.
3. The pinnacle prayer principle. He loved to pray on mountains: Matthew 14:23; Mark 6:46; Luke 6:12; 9:28. However, the fact that He often withdrew to “deserted places” (Luke 5:16) shows that the important thing was to be alone in God’s creation. Your place in nature may be a lake, a small garden, or front porch, or backyard swing. Even if you live in a crowded city, you can find a balcony or quiet room to focus your thoughts on God. The point is that Jesus knew that He had to be in a place where His total attention was upon the Father.
4. The people prayer principle. The more people, the shorter the prayer, the fewer people, the longer the prayer. His public prayers were short. Luke 10:21; John 11:41-42; Matthew 27:46. He condemned long prayers for show in Mark 12:40. His longest recorded prayer, John 17, was with a small group, while His longest prayer of all was totally alone (Luke 6:12). Too often we reverse this and pray too long in public and don’t pray enough in private.
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
Some people say that the Bible bans tattoos, because of Leviticus 19:28: “‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.” However, this is a misinterpretation of scripture.
We have to be careful about projecting our cultural viewpoint on this issue. If one reads the context, it is referring to tattoo markings as a memorial to the dead in pagan practice. If someone insisted on a blanket ban on all tattoos based on Leviticus 19:28, to be consistent he or she would also have to ban all haircuts based on the previous verse, which says “do not cut off the hair at the sides of your head…” Without looking at the background, one might assume this forbids haircuts, but from Leviticus 21:5, 1 Kings 18:28 we can determine that this was a pagan practice, and the concern was to avoid a pagan practice.
Most people would agree that haircuts are permitted, but if there was a haircut commonly done to worship some false god, then we should avoid that. For example, Christians in Thailand would want to avoid getting haircuts that look like Buddhist monks.
If you apply this same logic to Leviticus 19:28, then you would have to say that the Bible is not banning all tattoos, but it is warning against pagan tattoos. Deuteronomy 14:1-2 and Jeremiah 48:37 also refer to cutting of the body as common in pagan religion, so it would appear that this was the problem with tattoos in Leviticus 19:28.
Three other points to consider about tattoos:
1) Tattoos should be done by a professional, to avoid health risks. (Remember, the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.)
2) Tattoos should not be placed on private body parts (breast, buttocks, etc.) by a person of the opposite sex, as this is immodest and sexually provocative contact between the sexes.
3) Remember that scripture teaches us not to do something which would cause your brother or sister in Christ to stumble (see Romans 14, especially verse 21.) That’s why, in my personal opinion, tattoos that can be covered by normal clothing are preferable. I know a college student who decided to put a tattoo on her foot with the words “Send Me” as a reminder to go where God would send, based on Romans 10:15. Certainly a tattoo like this that reminds a person of his or her calling and is covered and does not call attention to oneself cannot be said to be unholy. In fact, its very holy, indeed!
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
When someone falls into sin, we often speak about repentance and a “restoration process.” But what should the restoration process look like? Having been through the process myself, I believe that it requires three things:
1. The restoration process requires a balance of grace and truth. See Psalm 85:10-11. This usually means counseling (strong on grace) and accountability (strong on truth). It is imperative that the fallen person have people pour both grace and truth into their lives very early in the restoration process.
2. The restoration process requires a “renewing of the mind” (Romans 12:2). This is the literal meaning of the Greek word for repentance, metanoia. There are three parts to this new way of thinking:
A. First, one learns to focus on praising God, which lifts from depression. See Psalm 42.
B. Second, one learns to forgive oneself. This usually takes time. C.S. Lewis said, “If God forgives us, we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it’s like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”
C. Third, one learns to reject living in the past. See Philippians 3:13-14. Frank Pollard says, “To dwell on past sins is to invite one of two things: thinking about it will lead you to sin again, or you will spend your time in self-destructive despair. God has placed our sins in the sea of His forgetfulness and has put up a sign: ‘No Fishing Here.’”
3. The restoration process requires activity. A fall into sin usually results in being cut off from an activity the person loved; the sinner is acutely conscious of what he or she can no longer do. Within a few weeks of the fall, they must become busy doing something good to replace the former activity; otherwise, they can fall from idleness to depression and worse sin. This is the replacement principle found in Matthew 12:43-45. For example, a fallen coach can volunteer to help Little League baseball, a fallen pastor can volunteer to teach the Bible at a prison. Charles Spurgeon said, “Sedentary habits have a tendency to despondency.”
The restoration process can reclaim fallen people to service. Just ask Moses, David, Peter and Paul! But it will take time and personal investment in their lives.
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
When another minister or other public figure resigns in disgrace, many people ask, “Could that ever be me?” How can we avoid falling into sin ourselves?
As a sinner who has fallen and gotten back up again, let me share three ways to avoid falling:
1. Be warned of the seriousness of sin. Proverbs 5 vividly warns the foolish man of the trap of adultery. I encourage you to read that chapter regularly. There is an old saying, “Sin takes you farther than you want to go, it stays with you longer than you want it to stay, and it costs you more than you want to pay.” The devil gets up every day seeking someone to devour, so we must get up every day and put on the spiritual armor of God (See 1 Peter 5:8; Ephesians 6:11).
2. Be accountable and have a regular spiritual check-up. James 5:14 says to confess your sins to one another. I believe all Christians should have a fellow believer of the same gender whom they meet with from time to time for prayer and support, a person who will speak truth in love and ask him or her the honest, hard questions to keep them accountable. The analogy of Satan as the lion on the prowl to devour someone (1 Peter 5:8) should remind us that lions don’t attack a herd, or they will get stampeded. They attack an animal who has wandered off or left behind. Likewise, Satan attacks when you are alone. Stay accountable to fellow believers, so Satan won’t pounce!
3. Don’t rest on past laurels; you are either growing closer to Christ or drifting farther away. You are rarely standing still. David Jeremiah said, “Our spiritual fitness is just like our physical fitness; we cannot rely on yesterday’s workout to keep us strong today.”
A person can live in the hypocrisy of secret sin for a time, but it always ends in tragedy. Nathaniel Hawthorne said, “No man, for any period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one.” The three practices above can help you avoid that tragedy.
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
A few days ago, an employee at the hospital where I work as a chaplain stopped me to complain about his pastor’s sermons. He said, “I’m thinking about leaving my church. I’m not getting fed.” It’s a common complaint about sermons, but what exactly does it mean? I decided to ask him. “What is he preaching?” I asked.
The man said, “He is going through the Gospel of Mark, one chapter each week, and he reads it and explains it.” Then he repeated his complaint, “I’m just not getting fed.”
I said, “Wait a minute! You just told me that he is preaching the Bible, and then you say you’re not getting fed? You have a responsibility to eat the food that is put in front of you!”
As I asked him more about the pastor’s sermons, it turned out that the real issue was that he thought the sermons were boring, because the pastor didn’t add illustrations or personal application. I encouraged him to talk to the pastor privately, thank him for preaching the Bible, and ask if the pastor could add some illustrations and application to help him understand it better. I urged him to conclude the private meeting by praying for his pastor.
When I told this story to my wife, she said that I should also have encouraged him to take notes on the sermon. Her advice reminded me of an episode in my own life. I visited a certain church when I was out of town, and I went to lunch, feeling that the sermon was boring. But as I prayed about it, God reminded me that the sermon was directly from the Bible. So I returned to the evening service with a pen and paper, and took notes on the evening message. It was amazing how much better the same pastor preached was when I came with a different attitude.
Not every preacher can be as eloquent as Charles Spurgeon, but I’d rather have a boring preacher who preaches the Bible than an interesting one who simply entertains. Jim Jones was an interesting preacher, but in 1979, he led 900 people to Guyana and they committed mass suicide following him.
So if you feel you aren’t getting fed by your pastor’s sermons, let me ask you a question: Is he preaching the Bible? If so, are you bringing a fork?
A House Put in Order, by J. Brian Broome, is an entertaining paranormal novel of a prison chaplain who must deal with the disaster in his prison just before Halloween, when a Wiccan inmate summons an evil spirit to get revenge on the deputy warden.
Although the book depicts a Christian chaplain responding to evil spirits, the book is not preachy. In fact, he is very respectful toward other religious faiths. That is not to say that he doesn’t include some enlightening insights, such as the comment in chapter 11, “When a man is beaten down by his pain, well, let’s just say pain doesn’t know religious affiliation.”
The author is a retired prison chaplain, and anybody who has spent time in the prison system will recognize how realistic his descriptions are. His characters are also realistic, and at times, humorous. (For example, in chapter 17, the chaplain reflects on an inmate who argued that since he was a new person in Christ, he should be set free from prison. The chaplain’s brilliant reply was to remind him that Jesus said to give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s, and added, “Your soul may belong to God, but right now your body belongs to Caesar.”)
After setting up characters and building the plot early in the book, the plot picks up pace and rushes straight to a ending that will keep you reading. Some might say the plot is a bit predictable toward the end, or at least it goes the way the reader would hope, although not entirely; you will certainly want to keep reading to find out how it ends. This book would make a great summer read, and a fantastic read around Halloween.
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
Many people say that they believe in Jesus but don’t believe in the church. Yet I submit that it is impossible to be a disciple of Christ apart from the church. Why do I say that?
1. We can’t use our spiritual gifts without the church. The Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit gives spiritual gifts to all believers, but it is always in the context of the church. It says in 1 Corinthians 12:7-12 that every believer is given a spiritual gift for the common good, because we are all part of the body of Christ.
2. We can’t show we are disciples without the church. Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). I may know I’m a disciple but I can’t show I’m a disciple if I sit at home alone and don’t show love for fellow believers.
3. We can’t experience God’s greatest presence without the church. Matthew 18:19-20 tells Christians to agree together in prayer, and where two or three are gathered that way, God is there.
4. We can’t take communion without the church. By definition, the Lord’s Supper is meal of Christians gathered together to remember the body and blood of Christ given for us upon the cross. In 1 Corinthians 11:17-26, the apostle Paul continually uses the phrase “come together” to describe observance of the Lord’s Supper. Since we cannot take communion without expressing unity with the church, it follows that refusal to express communion with the church is a refusal to express communion with Christ.
Christ died for the church. Christ is the builder of the church. Christ is the head of the church. Christ is the shepherd of the church. Christ is the groom for His bride, the church. Christ is coming again for the church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against His church!
Copyright 2017 by Bill Hurt
(Dr. Bill Hurt is the senior pastor of Pleasant Hill Baptist Church, Columbus, Mississippi. When he posted the following thoughts on Facebook, I found them so profound that I asked his permission to share it as a guest blog post, and he graciously agreed.)
The other day I shook hands with an individual and they commented on the softness of mine. They went on to say: “I bet those hands have never seen a hard day’s work.”
In some ways that statement is true, and it got me thinking about these hands of mine. They’ve never overhauled an engine on a car. Never plowed a field. Never hoed a garden. Never worked on an assembly line.
There are a lot of hard working activities these hands have never done, but they have taken a lifeless baby from the arms of a broken mother. They have taken a gun out of the hand of a man about to end his life. They have taken a bottle from an individual who was drinking their life away. They have raised and lowered children and adults in the baptismal waters. They have written numerous sermons. They have joined couples in matrimony. They have built churches on foreign soil. They have held the hands of the dying. They have received strangers into the Kingdom. They have dedicated and blessed countless babies. They have wiped the tears from grieving parents, spouses, and children. They have shaken the hands of the upper, middle, and lower class of society. They have held the hands of those who have prayed to receive Christ. They have removed debris from the rubble of destroyed churches. They have welcomed the homeless and offered them a place to sleep. I’m no different from any other preacher out there. Our hands are used quite frequently to serve. The endurance and strength to do these things come from another set of hands which happen to be nail pierced. After all, we’re called to be his hands and feet. I guess these hands are soft, but they are forgiven and ready for service.
Copyright 2017 by Bob Rogers.
Your child is wronged by another child, and when you try to talk to her parents, they tell you off. A friend gets angry with you and refuses to talk to you. A fellow worker never shows you respect, always going over your head. How do you deal with difficult people? My grandfather loved to answer this dilemma with Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
This verse recognizes two important facts about dealing with difficult people: 1) we should live at peace with people, and 2) it’s not always possible. In fact, Romans 12 gives us four ways to deal with difficult people when peace is possible, and four ways to deal with them when peace is not possible.
When peace is possible
Romans 12:14-16 gives us some practical ways to live at peace with difficult people.
1. Be a blessing (v. 14)
Paul says, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” This statement, like several others here, refer back to Jesus’ word in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus told us, “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
Paul must have remembered his own past with this statement, for many years before, Paul was the young Pharisee named Saul who held the coats of those who stoned to death the first Christian martyr, Stephen. Acts 7:60 records that as he died, Stephen said, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”
2. Be empathetic (v. 15)
In verse 15 he adds, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This is more than sympathy; it is empathy. It is identifying with those who hurt. This is a critical response to a difficult person, because when we can identify with them and understand why they act the way they do, then we will be much better at relating to them.
3. Be agreeable (v. 16a)
Verse 16 begins, “Live in harmony with one another.” Literally, the Greek means to “have the same mind toward one another.” We can disagree in substance and still be agreeable in spirit.
4. Be humble (v. 16b)
Sometimes the reason that the other person is so difficult to deal with us because the problem is within ourselves! Thus Paul reminds us, “Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” As Proverbs 3:7 says, “Do not be wise in your own eyes.”
When peace is impossible
Paul said in verse 18 to live at peace “if it is possible” and if “it depends on you.” He was recognizing that there are times when it is impossible for us to bring about peace in our own power. So what do you do when there is no peace? What do you do when it’s out of your hands?
1. Do not seek personal revenge (v. 17a, 19a)
Although I have listed this under the category of “when peace is impossible,” it probably fits under both categories. This is a principle that goes both ways.
Verse 17 says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil…” Verse 19 says, “Do not take revenge, my friends…” Jesus also taught the same thing in the Sermon on the Mount. He said, “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also…If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles” (Matthew 5:39, 41). Jesus was not talking about social injustice; He was making reference to personal insults. As Proverbs 12:16 says, it is wise to ignore an insult.
2. Do what is right (v. 17b)
We do not need to let the meanness of another person drag us down to their level. Thus verse 17 continues, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.” We must decide that even when the other person refuses to do what is right, that we will do what is right. Even when we cannot keep the peace, we can keep our integrity.
3. Let God avenge (v. 19b)
Verse 19 begins by saying, “Do not take revenge” but the verse goes on to say, “leave room for God’s wrath.” That is, we do not take revenge for personal insults and injuries, but we do make room for God to work his vengeance, particularly against social injustice.
When the Hebrews fled across the Red Sea and Pharaoh chased them, God allowed the Egyptians to drown in the sea, and Exodus 15 records the song of rejoicing that Moses sang at their defeat. Proverbs 11:10 says that “when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy.” While it is a virtue to overlook a personal insult, it is not a virtue to overlook a social injustice. The former is gracious; the latter is gross negligence.
4. Overcome evil with good (v. 20-21)
Paul says, “’If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ [A quotation of Proverbs 25:21-22.] Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
We can read Romans 12:20-21 on two levels: On a personal level, “kill him with kindness.” If your enemy is hungry, feed him. Let his evil be in such contrast to your goodness, that evil will be conquered by good. You may change his heart. On a social level, God will bring about the vengeance, often by using the judicial system, law enforcement and the military to bring about justice. In this way, you are leaving room for God’s wrath.
To sum up, how do you deal with difficult people? If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with them. If possible, be a blessing, be empathetic, be agreeable, be humble. Respond to their personal insults with personal kindness. And if none of those things are possible, you may just need to walk away and let God deal with them.
How does God want you to deal with your difficult person?
The Shack is a motion picture being released on March 3, 2017. It has a Christian message, yet some Christians are calling the movie heresy. What’s going on?
The movie is based on the bestseller of the same name by William Paul Young. (This is a review of the book. You can read my review of the movie by clicking here.) It is a deeply emotional story about why God allows suffering. The main character, Mack, gets a note from God, asking him to return to the shack where his young daughter had been murdered. Mack goes, and finds answers to his questions and doubts about God’s goodness. Sounds inspiring, doesn’t it? Then why the controversy?
Negative elements in the book
Many people are bothered by the portrayal of the Trinity in the book. God the Father appears as a black woman who goes by the name “Papa,” Jesus appears as a Middle Eastern man, and the Holy Spirit appears as an Asian woman named Sarayu (Sanskrit for “wind”) whom you can see through. Although they appear as three persons, they are shown as completely one, as they answer Mack in unison from time to time, and whenever he has a conversation with one of them, they always continue the conversations he had with the others. “Papa” reminds Mack that God is spirit, and since Mack had a poor relationship with his own father, he chose to reveal himself to Mack as a woman to get around his resistance. In fact, (spoiler warning: don’t read this next statement if you don’t want to know too much about the novel’s plot…) at the end of the book, after Mack is reconciled to his own father, “Papa” appears to Mack as a man.
Some people will be put off by a few uses of profanity in the book in the dialogue. There is one use of S.O.B., and a few other milder profanities spoken mostly in passages where the speaker is angry.
The most troubling part of the book occurs on page 182. Jesus is talking to Mack, and he says, “Those who love me come from every system that exists. They were Buddhists or Mormons, Baptists or Muslims, Democrats, Republicans and many who don’t vote or are not part of any Sunday morning or religious institutions…” At this point, Jesus appears to be teaching universalism, that everybody will be saved. It appears that Jesus is saying that He has taken people from any background and transformed them. Notice the next words that William Young has “Jesus” speak:
“…I have followers who were murderers and many who were self-righteous. Some were bankers and bookies, Americans and Iraqis, Jews and Palestinians. I have no desire to make them Christian, but I do want to join them in their transformation into sons and daughters of my Papa, into my brothers and sisters, into my Beloved.”
“‘Does that mean,’ asked Mack, ‘that all roads will lead to you?’
‘Not at all,’ smiled Jesus as he reached for the door handle to the shop. ‘Most roads don’t lead anywhere. What it does mean is that I will travel any road to find you.'”
Perhaps this is universalism, or perhaps it means that Jesus is the only way, but He will do what it takes to reach us. The only thing that is clear is that it is left unclear.
Positive elements in the book
The book does a beautiful job of showing that following Jesus is more a matter of relationship than religion. It illustrates how suffering cannot be understood because we cannot understand all of God’s purposes, thus we simply must trust God.
(Spoiler warning: skip this paragraph if you don’t want to know too much of the plot…) Perhaps the most powerful part of the book is when Mack is asked to “play God” and decide which three of his children will go to hell and which two will go to heaven. Mack’s reaction to this awful choice helps him see how God works through suffering.
There are several good quotations in the book:
“Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors.” (p. 185)
God says, “I am a verb. I am that I am. I will be who I will be. I am a verb! I am alive, dynamic, ever active, and moving. I am a being verb.” (p. 204)
God says, “Forgiveness is about forgetting, Mack. It is about letting go of another person’s throat.” (p. 224)
This is a review of The Shack, the book. The movie has several differences, so see my follow-up review of the actual film by clicking here. The movie has no profanity, and has fewer implications of universal salvation, as some of the above conversations that imply universalism are not in the film. Also, the depiction of God the Father as a woman is explained earlier and more clearly in the film.
Whatever your opinion about the depiction of the Trinity and other controversial elements in the book, it is an inspiring message of how God works through suffering that reminds us how we ultimately find hope not in the shack, but in the cross.
“God…rewards those who seek Him.” – Hebrews 11:6b, HCSB
I like rewards.
I’m a member of the Holiday Inn Priority Club, and I like getting rewards for staying at the Holiday Inn. They give me a gift bag when I arrive. They let me check out late. I earn points and occasionally get to stay one night free.
But no rewards program can compare with God’s rewards program. Yes, we’re saved by grace, not by good deeds. The greatest reward is our salvation and eternal life in heaven. However, God also grants amazing rewards for serving Him. Here’s my top ten:
1. Reward for good deeds. First Corinthians 3:11-15 says that Jesus is the foundation of salvation, but if anybody builds on that foundation, “he will receive a reward” (v. 14).
2. Reward for giving up sin. Moses gave up “the fleeting pleasures of sin” for Christ, “for he was looking to the reward” (Hebrews 11:24-26).
3. Reward for humility. Jesus repeatedly said that if we do our good deeds humbly and in secret, that “your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:4, 6, 18).
4. Reward for generosity. Jesus said that if you invite the poor, crippled, lame and blind to dinner instead of your friends, family or rich neighbors, “you will be repaid at the resurrection” (Luke 14:12-14).
5. Reward for discipline. The apostle Paul said that athletes receive a temporary crown that fades away, but if we live a disciplined Christian life, we receive an “imperishable” crown (1 Corinthians 14:12-14).
6. Reward for service. Colossians 3:23-24 says that if you work heartily for the Lord, “you will receive the inheritance as your reward.”
7. Reward for enduring trials. The “crown of life” is mentioned twice in scripture (James 1:12; Revelation 2:10) for the one “who remains steadfast under trial.”
8. The prophet’s reward. The shepherd (pastor) of the flock of God is promised “the unfading crown of glory” (1 Peter 5:1-4). Jesus says this reward is also available to all, for “The one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward” (Matthew 10:41).
9. Reward for looking forward to the Second Coming. “Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord… will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:8).
10. Reward for leaving a legacy. Abraham, the father of faith, was told, “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” Think of Abraham’s legacy of faith as Father of the Hebrew nation, ancestor of Jesus, and role model of faith for all people. There can be no greater reward than a legacy of faith that leads others to faith. There can be no greater reward than seeing others in heaven because we shared our faith with them on earth.
How about you? Are you in God’s reward program?
Guest article, Copyright by Dawn McDowell
Here are five reasons why this activity that has been growing in popularity in recent years can give your relationship a boost.
Millions of Americans tune in to Dancing With The Stars each week to watch celebrities waltz, tango and salsa in pursuit of the mirror-ball trophy. Many of the viewers have decided to give partner dancing a whirl themselves.
If you have not rushed out to your local ballroom dance studio with the throngs of others, I challenge you to consider it. Before you discount it, consider these five benefits of learning to dance with your spouse.
- Dance is a fun activity you and your spouse can do together.
To dance is to celebrate. Consider these biblical references:
I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful. Jeremiah 31:4, NIV
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11, NLT
Be glad at such a time, and dance for joy; for your reward is great in Heaven. Luke 6:23a, Weymouth New Testament
Dancing is customary at many weddings and holiday socials — times of celebration. And it can be a source of joy and fun for your marriage.
“The enjoyable times we spend together are the lifeblood of a marriage,” writes Greg Smalley, in an online article on the Focus on the Family website. “In fact, while researching their book Fighting for Your Marriage, the authors discovered that ‘the amount of fun [couples] had together emerged as the strongest factor in producing their overall marital happiness.‘”
Engaging in fun activities together creates memories that can be enjoyed for years to come as you reflect on them.
- Learning to dance together can rekindle romance.
A study by social psychologists at the State University of New York at Stony Brook found that enjoying a new recreational activity with your spouse can rekindle the romance that brought you together in the first place.
“New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine,” writes Tara Parker-Pope in an online New York Times article reporting on the research. “These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner.”
“Every marriage could use more romance,” writes Neil Clark Warren in Catching the Rhythm of Love. “It weaves you together, soul to soul.”
If you and your spouse have dance experience, choose a new style of dance and reap the romantic benefits of learning something new together.
- Dancing is great exercise. It improves your health while it improves your relationship.
The health benefits of dancing can include losing weight, reducing the effects of stress, strengthening your heart, lifting your spirits, improving your balance, and increasing your flexibility and energy level.
In a guest post on simplemarriage.net, Sean Marshall, dates and romance columnist of Family Rocketship, includes dancing on his list of physical “date night” activities. “Dancing is a fantastic way to get to know each other’s bodies and work together to create something beautiful,” he writes. “Find a dance style that you both like and go for it.
“The goal is to achieve a happy and strong marriage,” Marshall writes. “Two healthy bodies sure help you achieve that worthy goal.”
- Dancing together increases intimacy.
Intimacy is the genuine closeness that can be developed in all dimensions of a marriage. Sharing experiences, conquering challenges and generally navigating life together over time contributes to this closeness.
In a post on his Complete Life Fitness blog, dance instructor Stuart Palmer describes observations that he and his wife Tracy have made in their students:
… we continue to see that couples who dance together generally have better relationships and deeper intimacy. Not only that, but just about every couple we’ve taught proclaims that learning to dance together parallels learning to have a better relationship. And it’s true; the couples that look the best on the dance floor have learned to be better partners. They understand their individual roles and know how to enhance their partnership.
- Dancing together provides a “living picture” of scriptural marriage.
I have devoted an entire blog to exploring this “living picture,” and I invite you to visit marriagedance.org. For a sneak preview, I provide these words from author Sheila Gregoire’s blog. She describes the experience of learning to dance with her husband:
It really does change your relationship. It makes you work together. It makes you smile.
In most areas of our lives today, the sexes are interchangeable. A woman can do whatever a man can do, and vice versa. Dancing is one of the few areas of life where you have to either be a man or be a woman. You each have very defined roles, and it reminds you that you are two very different halves of one whole.
… If you’ve ever longed to hear her [your wife] say, “You decide and I’ll follow,” you’ve got to hit the dance floor.
Dancing doesn’t work if she tries to take control. You [the man] really do get to decide pretty much everything. And once she realizes that it works better that way, she can be putty in your hands. Plus, it is awfully romantic.
While you get to feel like a man, she gets to feel like a princess as you twirl her around. … It’s about treating her like she’s precious, and showing her off to the world. What woman doesn’t want to be treated like that?
Scriptural marriage affirms the equal value of men and women. It describes distinctly different and complementary roles for each of them. It is a beautiful partnership that I believe can be more completely understood by learning to dance with your spouse.
Waltz. Tango. Polka. Square Dance. There are a multitude of dance styles from which you can choose one that suits your preferences. Engage with your spouse in this fun and active pursuit, and your marriage will reap the benefits.
About the author: Dawn McDowell is a freelance writer and avid social dancer who has studied and practiced ballroom and swing dancing for more than 15 years. Desiring to see Christian marriages strengthened for the glory of God, she created a workshop that incorporates dance instruction with a scripture study on marriage. For more information, visit marriagedance.org. This article was previously published in Marriage Magazine.
Are you ticked off? Angry? Has something made you hot under the collar? In John 9, the Bible tells the story of how Jesus healed a man who was born blind, but instead of people celebrating, he got nitpickers, wound lickers, goodness sakers… and finally, an arm waver. Compare your own attitude with theirs:
1. Nitpickers (John 9:14-16)
The Pharisees nitpicked about how Jesus supposedly “worked” on the Sabbath because he made some mud with His saliva, touched a blind man’s eyes, and healed him. The Jewish Mishnah did not allow kneading dough on the Sabbath, and so in their minds, what Jesus did qualified as a violation. Never mind that a blind man could now see! Nitpickers love to burst the balloons of our celebrations, observing at a wedding that the bride needs to lose weight, criticizing a child for not making all A’s on his report card, complaining about the songs we sing at church. Don’t be a nitpicker!
2. Wound lickers (John 9:18-19)
The Pharisees could not leave well enough alone. They summoned the man’s parents to know if he was really born blind and how he received his sight. They wanted to expose some imaginary wrong. Wound lickers refuse to let others or themselves heal. The husband who always brings up his wife’s past mistakes, the woman who says after a divorce that she will never trust a man again, or the church member who says he’ll never go back to the church because nobody called when he was sick, are all examples of wound lickers. Scarred by emotional wounds, we cannot heal if we continue to lick them and gnaw at them. Don’t be a wound licker!
3. Goodness sakers (John 9:28)
Finally, the Pharisees crossed their arms, and looked down their noses, ridiculing Jesus and the man He healed. They said, “We know that God has spoken to Moses. But this man– we don’t know where He’s from!” Ray Stevens had a humorous song, “Mississippi Squirrel Revival,” with a character named Sister Bertha Better-than-You. Unfortunately, there are a lot of sisters and brothers like Bertha in our churches, putting their hands on their hips and declaring, “For goodness sake, who let those people in here?” Being a goodness saker is the greatest temptation of church members, and it is the biggest turnoff to the lost. For goodness sake, don’t be a goodness saker!
4. Arm wavers (John 9:38)
It’s stunning that this story is almost over before somebody finally celebrates. The arm waver is the man who was healed of blindness. It progressively comes to him throughout the chapter, as he realized just who Jesus is. He calls Jesus a “man” (v. 11), then a “prophet” (v. 17), then recognizes Jesus as a life changer (v. 25), then a “man from God” (v. 33), and finally he calls Him “Lord” (v. 38) and does a full body wave, worshiping at Jesus’ feet. He challenges the nitpickers and goodness sakers, reminding them that nobody in history has healed a man born blind. He declared, “Whether or not He’s a sinner, I don’t know. One thing I do know: I was blind, and now I can see!” (v. 25).
How we need arm wavers. These are the people who cheer for their child’s Little League team when they down by ten runs, and praise the grandchildren for their creative coloring (even though they colored on the wall). They are the ones who jump up and shout when someone trusts in Christ and is baptized. In heaven, nobody will be nit picking (“I don’t like my mansion”), wound licking (“I see your husband didn’t make it”), or goodness saking (“I’ve got a better mansion than you”), but all will be arm waving before the throne of God. So if that’s what we’ll do in heaven, why don’t we live like that on earth?
Copyright 2017 by Bob Rogers
Outreach magazine publishes a list of the 100 largest churches in America and the 100 fastest-growing churches in America.
But when we read about the church in the New Testament, we don’t read Paul reporting to the church that when he left Ephesus they were running 200 in Sunday worship. Instead of talking about numerical growth, he emphasizes spiritual growth. So why don’t we?
Instead of so much emphasis on church growth, we should talk about church health. So what makes a church healthy, anyway? Paul gives us a full description in Ephesians 4:11-16.
1. Leaders who equip
“And He personally gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers…” (Ephesians 4:11, HCSB)
Just as healthy medicine requires a good doctor to make a diagnosis, healthy churches have leaders who equip their members.
In this verse, the last two leadership gifts are indispensable to local church health. In Greek, the terms go together, “pastor-teacher.”
Pastors (translated “shepherds” in the ESV) bring guidance and comfort to the flock of God.
Teachers instruct the church in correct understanding of the Bible and Christian living.
Notice in verse 12 that these leaders have the purpose of training, or equipping, the church to do their work.
If a church is going to be healthy, it must have a pastor/teacher who is feeding the congregation God’s Word on a consistent basis.
2. Members who serve
“… for the training of the saints in the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ…” (Ephesians 4:12, HCSB)
Just as good hospitals have nurses everywhere who serve, healthy churches have members who serve. Churches that grow rapidly from sensational entertainment often burst like a balloon and wither away. But when members serve, they reproduce healthy growth.
The “saints” are all the believers. “Saint” means a “holy one,” and every believer is called to be holy and set aside for God’s service.
It says the saints are trained by the leaders so that the saints can do the work of the ministry. So all members are called to serve.
3. Unity in the faith
“… until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son…” (Ephesians 4:13a, HCSB)
Just as medical staff work in coordination during a surgery, healthy churches are united and cooperate. Unhealthy churches are divided and refuse to cooperate. Notice the two ways he says we are to be united: by doctrinal faith (“in the faith”) and by personal faith (“and in the knowledge of God’s Son”).
Remember the lesson from Noah’s Ark. It may stink sometimes, but we have to stay together, because we’re all in the same boat!
4. Growth measured by Christ-likeness
“… growing into a mature man with a stature measured by Christ’s fullness.” (Ephesians 4:13b, HCSB)
We take vital signs to check physical health: temperature, pulse, respiration, blood pressure. Too often, churches measure themselves by numerical growth, but that’s the wrong vital sign. A tumor can grow, but it isn’t healthy. And some churches explode and then die down. Others grow and grow in numbers, but they are attracting people for entertainment or because their standards are lax, and people are not being discipled.
Notice that verse 13 gives the correct measurement of real growth: “a stature measured by Christ’s fullness.” That is our measurement of growth: are we like Christ? If our budget grows but we spend our budget on a bowling alley for church members instead of helping the hurting and sharing the gospel, we may be growing in numbers but not in Christ-likeness.
Healthy churches measure growth by being more like Christ.
5. Teaching that provides stability
“Then we will no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit.” (Ephesians 5:14, HCSB)
The last thing a sick person needs is a “quack” doctor. Likewise, a healthy church guards against heresy and false teaching. Instead, the Bible is so consistently taught, that the members aren’t tricked by “quack” preachers and teachers.
Years ago, a powerful wind storm blew an oak tree on the youth building of the church where I was pastor. The tree had shallow roots, and when the winds came, it fell. A healthy church that teaches the Bible is like a healthy tree with deep roots. It doesn’t fall under the pressure of false teaching.
6. Honest and loving relationships
“But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head– Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15, HCSB)
People often say to their physician, “tell it to me straight, doc.” They want a doctor they can trust who cares enough to be honest with them. Healthy churches have honest and loving relationships. “Speaking the truth in love” means that we are honest with each other, we speak the truth, but we are also loving when we do it. We don’t just try to please each other. If something’s wrong, we deal with it, but we always seek to deal with it in love. That’s challenging, but it’s vital to having a healthy church.
7. An environment that encourages involvement
“From Him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building up itself in love by the proper working of each individual part.” (Ephesians 4:16, HCSB)
A hospital strives to maintain a healthy environment, washing hands, putting on gloves, etc. Healthy churches create an environment that encourages involvement. “From Him (Jesus) the whole body, fitted and knit together… promotes the growth of the body…”
Many people think that it doesn’t matter if they are involved in the church or not, that the church won’t miss them if they are gone. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
A healthy church is a church where misfits can fit in. A healthy church is a place where the displaced can find a place.
This world is in desperate need of healthy churches in every community. Christian, are you allowing God’s Spirit to work through you to make and keep your church healthy?
In case you missed them, here were my top blog posts and top new blog posts in 2016, in order of the most visits:
TOP THREE POSTS OF 2016:
1. Blessing the food: ways to say “Grace”: https://bobrogers.me/2013/10/25/blessing-the-food-ways-to-say-grace-before-meals/
2. Four great truths from the creation account in Genesis: https://bobrogers.me/2013/10/14/four-great-truths-from-the-creation-account-in-genesis/
3. Why I am changing Bible translations: https://bobrogers.me/2012/04/17/why-i-am-changing-bible-translations/
TOP THREE NEW POSTS OF 2016:
1. In this weird political year, be a patriotic prayer warrior! https://bobrogers.me/2016/05/05/be-a-patriotic-prayer-warrior/
2. Twisted scripture: “by His stripes, we are healed”: https://bobrogers.me/2016/08/07/twisted-scripture-by-his-stripes-we-are-healed/
3. Twisted scripture: “God doesn’t put on you more than you can handle”: https://bobrogers.me/2016/06/10/twisted-scripture-god-doesnt-put-on-you-more-than-you-can-handle/