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Ways parents can provoke children to anger
My Bible class often teaches me as much as I teach them. This week was a good example. We were studying Ephesians 6:4, which says, “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath” (KJV), or, “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children” (CSB). I noted that while the plural verb translated “fathers” can also be translated “parents” (as it is in Hebrews 11:23), and some mothers can provoke children by words and actions, the reality is that fathers are more often guilty of this.
Then I asked the class to give some specific examples of how parents do this, and they came up with this list of behaviors parents should avoid:
When I taught this same lesson to inmates at a prison, they added two more ways: humiliating children in front of their friends, making promises and giving expectations and then failing to fulfill them. Would you add any other ways to this list? Feel free to leave a comment or share your story.
7 ways to control social media before it controls you
Copyright by Bob Rogers.
Social media such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have become major addictions for millions of people. Research shows that in 2018, the average person spent 2 hours, 16 minutes (136 minutes) a day on social media and similar platforms, and the numbers are increasing every year! Social media can be good, as it helps families and friends who are far apart stay in touch, but it can also be the source of adultery, bullying, political bickering, and other harmful practices. A wise person learns to control social media before it controls them. Here are seven ways:
- Set time limits and “off limits” times. You can adjust your settings on Facebook and Instagram so that they will notify you when you have been on the site for a certain amount of time. (I set mine to remind me at 30 minutes.) Stay off social media while at work or school. If people send you messages during work or school hours, wait until later to respond, and let them know that you are unavailable during work or class. When sitting down at a meal, agree with family and friends to put away your phones. Have “family time” that is off-limits to social media, such as 6-8 p.m.
- Take precautions with the opposite sex. Social media is an easy medium for people of the opposite sex to have private conversations. Thus, married and engaged people in particular need to be intentional about taking precautions. My pastor, Dr. David Whitten, recommends that husbands and wives set up a joint account, or that they not make “friends” with the opposite sex unless they have a good reason for doing so, such as their own family members. Give your spouse your password, and give your spouse permission to approve or veto your friendship with members of the opposite sex.
- Turn off notifications. Tony Reinke in his book, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, points out that a major reason for the addiction is how people get self-esteem from how many “Likes” they get. Some have suffered anxiety and depression if they fail to get the “Likes” they desire. Turning off the notifications shuts off these messages—it’s like throwing away the needle for a drug addict.
- Make spiritual disciplines a priority. When you rise in the morning, get out your Bible instead of your phone, and get on your knees to pray instead of getting on the computer to play. Make this your daily habit.
- Have a “day off” and a Sabbatical from social media. Christian blogger Tim Challies takes one day a week and one week a year to be completely off social media. If you don’t feel you can take an entire day, try staying off for 12 hours straight, and then lengthen the time the next week.
- Delete social media from your phone, and only use it on your computer. This is an excellent way to force yourself to stay off social media when at work, eating out, etc. Let people know that if they need to reach you, they can text or call!
- Set other healthy goals and pursue them. Keep a good book (and The Good Book) handy and set goals for minutes reading. Get a bicycle, join a gym, go walking, plant a garden, and make these healthy exercises a priority. The best way to overcome a bad addiction is to acquire a healthy addiction!
How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
New Year’s resolutions are made to be broken—at least many people do. Gyms see an influx of new members in January who don’t make it to February. Diet Coke sales rise, and new Bibles are purchased and read by people who often don’t make it past Leviticus.
So, how can we keep our New Year’s resolutions? Henry and Richard Blackaby give wise advice about New Year’s resolutions in the January 1 devotional of their book, Experiencing God Day by Day: “Jesus does not need your resolutions, your recommitments, or your promises to try harder this year. If your resolve to obey God last year did not help you to be faithful, it will not make you successful this year. Jesus asks for your love. If you truly love Him, your service for Him in the new year will be of the quality that He desires.”
Yes! That’s the key to keeping New Year’s resolutions: love. If I am motivated by duty or guilt, I will eventually get weary and quit. But if I am motivated by love, I will experience change, because love changes my heart.
God so loved me that He sent Jesus to save me when I believe (John 3:16). When I respond in love, look at what He makes new:
*In Christ, I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17),
*I enjoy the spiritual new birth by faith (1 Peter 1:3).
*God makes a new covenant with me (Jeremiah 31:31).
*He puts a new heart and new spirit in me (Ezekiel 36:26).
*He puts a new song in my mouth (Psalm 40:3).
*He moves me to put on a new self (Colossians 3:10).
*He moves me to obey the new commandment of love (John 13:34).
*I have the new name (Revelation 2:17) of “Christian.”
*One day I will enter the new heaven and new earth (Revelation 21:1).
*There God makes everything new (Revelation 21:4).
How about you? What’s new for you in the New Year? Why not start with a new heart for God, and love like God loves?
Top Ten Rewards of the Christian Life
“God…rewards those who seek Him.” – Hebrews 11:6b, HCSB
I like rewards.
I’m a member of the Holiday Inn Priority Club, and I like getting rewards for staying at the Holiday Inn. They give me a gift bag when I arrive. They let me check out late. I earn points and occasionally get to stay one night free.
But no rewards program can compare with God’s rewards program. Yes, we’re saved by grace, not by good deeds. The greatest reward is our salvation and eternal life in heaven. However, God also grants amazing rewards for serving Him. Here’s my top ten:
1. Reward for good deeds. First Corinthians 3:11-15 says that Jesus is the foundation of salvation, but if anybody builds on that foundation, “he will receive a reward” (v. 14).
2. Reward for giving up sin. Moses gave up “the fleeting pleasures of sin” for Christ, “for he was looking to the reward” (Hebrews 11:24-26).
3. Reward for humility. Jesus repeatedly said that if we do our good deeds humbly and in secret, that “your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:4, 6, 18).
4. Reward for generosity. Jesus said that if you invite the poor, crippled, lame and blind to dinner instead of your friends, family or rich neighbors, “you will be repaid at the resurrection” (Luke 14:12-14).
5. Reward for discipline. The apostle Paul said that athletes receive a temporary crown that fades away, but if we live a disciplined Christian life, we receive an “imperishable” crown (1 Corinthians 14:12-14).
6. Reward for service. Colossians 3:23-24 says that if you work heartily for the Lord, “you will receive the inheritance as your reward.”
7. Reward for enduring trials. The “crown of life” is mentioned twice in scripture (James 1:12; Revelation 2:10) for the one “who remains steadfast under trial.”
8. The prophet’s reward. The shepherd (pastor) of the flock of God is promised “the unfading crown of glory” (1 Peter 5:1-4). Jesus says this reward is also available to all, for “The one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward” (Matthew 10:41).
9. Reward for looking forward to the Second Coming. “Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord… will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:8).
10. Reward for leaving a legacy. Abraham, the father of faith, was told, “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” Think of Abraham’s legacy of faith as Father of the Hebrew nation, ancestor of Jesus, and role model of faith for all people. There can be no greater reward than a legacy of faith that leads others to faith. There can be no greater reward than seeing others in heaven because we shared our faith with them on earth.
How about you? Are you in God’s reward program?
You can get into spiritual shape
Article Copyright 2017 by Bob Rogers
Once I met a guy in the gym who had muscles of steel. I was amazed when he told me that he used to be fat, until he decided to get into shape.
First Timothy 4:7-8 says, “Train yourself in godliness, for the training of the body has a limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” Many of us are spiritually fat. But just as my friend got physically fit, you can get into spiritual shape. Here’s how:
I. Put your heart into it.
Dotsie Bausch was riding a mountain bike one day when a group of competitive road cyclists flew past her. Dotsie chased them and stayed on their heels for two miles. That night, she told a friend, “This cycling thing, I’m actually pretty decent at it.” Four years later she was on the U.S. national cycling team. Her heart was all in. (Evan Miller, “Dotsie Bausch: Cycling,” Guideposts, July 2012, p. 47-49.)
Ezekiel 18:31. “Throw off all the transgressions you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.” You must put your heart into it.
II. Remove hindrances.
In football, the offense has a big obstacle. It’s called the defense.
In the spiritual life, sinful obstacles block us, too.
Hebrews 12:1: “… let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us.”
Choose to remove the hindrances to your spiritual life, especially sinful lifestyles that have been dragging you down. Do it!
III. Exercise your spirit daily.
There are two major types of exercise: cardiovascular exercise, also known as aerobic exercise, and strength training, which is usually by lifting weights. Healthy athletes have a balance of both. Likewise, you need a balance of spiritual exercises, often called the “spiritual disciplines.” These include Bible reading and prayer, but they also include meditation and memorization of scripture, service and stewardship, worship and witness. A healthy spiritual life develops from regular practice of these spiritual disciplines.
As the apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:26-27: “Therefore I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified.”
IV. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Hebrews 12:2 says, “Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith…”
In 2008, I was about 35 pounds overweight. I was breathing hard just walking to the second floor. My pants were too tight. I didn’t like how I looked. I made a decision to change, and put my heart into it. It was a lifestyle change, as I got serious about exercise, eating right, and sticking with it. Over a year, I took off the weight. Today, nine years later, I have maintained my lower weight and healthier lifestyle.
I had tried fad diets before, but I finally had success when I kept my focus on a goal and stuck with it.
In a much greater way, the same principle applies to your spiritual life.
How about you? Are you getting into spiritual shape? It’s got to start with a change of heart. Are you ready to begin the journey?
Bob Rogers 