Jim Newheiser has a wonderful acrostic to help husbands and wives remember what Ephesians 5 teaches us to give to one another. He tells husbands to give their wives TULIPs and wives to give their husbands HONOR.
HUSBANDS, GIVE YOUR WIVES TULIPs:
Totally committed to her in love.
Unconditionally sacrifice yourself for her.
Limit yourself to her alone.
Irresistibly draw her with a love that purifies.
Persevere in meeting her every need.
WIVES, GIVE YOUR HUSBANDS HONOR:
Hold fast to the role God has given you.
Obey your husband’s leadership for the Lord’s sake.
Notice how you can be his helper and do good.
Organize your life around your responsibilities at home.
Restore your husband when he strays from the Lord.
Listen to the Newheiser’s teaching to husbands here.
Listen to Newheiser’s teaching to wives here.
Article copyright by Bob Rogers.
When someone falls into sin, we often speak about repentance and a “restoration process.” But what should the restoration process look like? Having been through the process myself, I believe that it requires three things:
1. The restoration process requires a balance of grace and truth. See Psalm 85:10-11. This usually means counseling (strong on grace) and accountability (strong on truth). It is imperative that the fallen person have people pour both grace and truth into their lives very early in the restoration process. They must be called to repentance, but they also need to be given hope that repentance leads to restoration.
2. The restoration process requires a “renewing of the mind” (Romans 12:2). This is the literal meaning of the Greek word for repentance, metanoia. There are three parts to this new way of thinking:
A. First, one learns to focus on praising God, which lifts from depression. See Psalm 42.
B. Second, one learns to forgive oneself. This usually takes time. C.S. Lewis said, “If God forgives us, we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it’s like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”
C. Third, one learns to reject living in the past. See Philippians 3:13-14. Frank Pollard says, “To dwell on past sins is to invite one of two things: thinking about it will lead you to sin again, or you will spend your time in self-destructive despair. God has placed our sins in the sea of His forgetfulness and has put up a sign: ‘No Fishing Here.’”
3. The restoration process requires activity. A fall into sin usually results in being cut off from an activity the person loved; the sinner is acutely conscious of what he or she can no longer do. Within a few weeks of the fall, they must become busy doing something good to replace the former activity; otherwise, they can fall from idleness to depression and worse sin. This is the replacement principle found in Matthew 12:43-45. For example, a fallen coach can volunteer to help Little League baseball, a fallen pastor can volunteer to teach the Bible at a prison. Charles Spurgeon said, “Sedentary habits have a tendency to despondency.”
The restoration process can reclaim fallen people to service. Just ask Moses, David, Peter and Paul! But it will take time and personal investment in their lives.