Copyright by Bob Rogers
“Entering the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother, and falling on their knees, they worshiped Him. Then they opened their treasures and presented Him with gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Matthew 2:11, HCSB
My sister, Nancy Rogers, is the best gift-giver I know. I have always noticed how thoughtful she is in selecting gifts for others. So I called her up and asked for her advice, and here is what she told me:
Nancy said, “I think about what that person would enjoy. It depends on who the person is. If they have similar tastes to me, or a woman my age, then I ask myself if I would like that. Then, I ask, would it appeal to that person, not to me. So I ask myself, how would they react when they open this gift? Like a person who loves cats, I might think they would like a cat figurine, but then I think about how this person does not collect items and so even though they like cats, they don’t collect figurines. So I give it some time and thought. I learn about the person. The gift may not be that expensive, but it doesn’t matter; what matters is that I was thinking about his or her interests, because you can’t buy affection.”
What about giving money and gift cards?
What about giving money and gift cards? Nancy said, “I think giving cash and gift cards can be just fine. I have a goddaughter who lives on a tight budget. For her, money is very helpful to do something for herself. So I gave her $50 for her birthday. She wrote me a note and said she went and got her hair done, and nails done, something she would not have spent on her tight budget. If I had given her a pair of earrings that cost the same amount of money, it would mean less to her. If had given money to my boss who makes more money than me, it would not have meant as much to him. If my friend listens to music all of the time and likes to get music on his iPod from iTunes, and I give him an iTunes gift card. But doing so, I’m saying that I’m thinking about him because he will download music with it.
“When it comes to gift giving, the magic thing is not the dollar value. It’s showing the other person that you care about them and value them by thinking about what they would like. It’s about the receiver, the care and thought. One year when I had no money, I baked cookies and put them in plastic bags and put handwritten notes with the cookies, and it went over fine, because I tried to personalize it. A lot of times, a card you make yourself or a blank card that you write a note in, means even more.”
Special advice for men giving to women
Does she have any advice for men buying for their girlfriend or wife? “When a man is buying for a woman, I have two pieces of advice. Number one, ask the best friend and listen to what she says. The best friend knows! Tell her the budget range, and she will give you the best suggestion, hands down. Number two, when in doubt, give her jewelry! Women will buy inexpensive costume jewelry for themselves, but a lot of women won’t buy nice jewelry for themselves. But you need to know the style and taste your woman has in jewelry. Does she wear silver or gold? Are her ears pierced? You may even want to take the best friend with you to help you pick it out. If you buy expensive gold earrings for a woman who wears silver jewelry and does not have pierced ears, you have shown that you do not care enough about her to learn what she likes, even though you spent a lot of money.
The extra benefit of gift-giving
“What you will discover when you start putting time and thought into your gift-giving, is that gift-giving will become more enjoyable for you. You will look forward to seeing how the other person reacts and how they know that you showed that you care by selecting something just for them. After all, giving gifts is an expression of our love, and if we love someone, we will put some thought into what we give them.”
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