Blog Archives
Mrs. Irby comes to the wrong church — or comes to the church wrong
Copyright 2012 by Bob Rogers
A Baptist pastor accepted the call to a church in Sledge, Mississippi. The day that he moved in, a 90-year-old woman drove up and greeted him in his driveway. “I’m Mrs. Irby,” she said. “I was a Presbyterian until my husband died, then I went back to the Methodist Church. But I don’t ever intend on coming to your church. I just came by to say welcome to the community.” With that, she drove off, spinning wheels and throwing dirt and rocks all over the new pastor.
So the pastor was surprised months later, when Mrs. Irby showed up one Sunday morning at the Baptist church. Early in the service, the pastor asked everybody to stand and greet one another. Mrs. Irby started to head out the door. The Baptists asked her where she was going, and she said, “In my church, when you stand, it’s time to go.” They helped her back to her pew to stay for the rest of the service. The pastor began to preach, and Mrs. Irby shouted loudly to the young lady beside her, “When is he ever gonna quit?” The congregation chuckled, and the pastor wrapped up his sermon quickly. Mrs. Irby stood to go. As she greeted the pastor at the door, she said, “The only reason I came here today is that the Methodists didn’t have church because their pipes busted. But I didn’t get a thing out of your sermon. Next time I’ll have to remember to bring my hearing aids.” And with that, she was out the door, never to return.
Which reminds me: you only get out of church what you put into it. The psalmist says, “Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise!” (Psalm 100:2, 4, ESV). Come to church with a prayer in your heart, a smile on your face, a Bible in your hand, and if you need them, glasses on your eyes and hearing aids in your ears, so that you don’t miss what God wants to say to you.
When the pastor found out that Pearly felt just peachy
Sometimes a pastor feels awkward when he is called upon to visit somebody he does not know in the hospital, but it is really embarrassing when he visits somebody that he does know but he does not recognize! That happened to me recently. Let me explain– and I will change the names to protect the innocent.
Our church office received a request to visit Pearly Precious (obviously not her real name!), who was having knee surgery. It was the hospital visitation day of our associate pastor, so he went to make the visit, but the family had left and Pearly was in surgery, so he left his card and departed. I called later and got Pearly’s room and talked to her daughter, who thanked me for calling, and told me she was recovering well from the knee surgery. A couple days later, I was in town, so I went to the hospital to visit.
I knocked on the door, which had her last name, “Precious,” on the door, but when I entered the room, I did not recognize the patient! Confused, I introduced myself, and started to excuse myself, when the daughter said that she remembered talking to me on the phone and thanked me for coming. I looked at Mrs. Pearly, and said, “Sorry I didn’t recognize you at first– your hair is shorter.” After a long pause, the daughter said, “Now tell me, what connection does our family have to your church?”
I said, “Uh, I came to visit Pearly Precious.”
They said, “This is Pearly Precious.”
I said, “I have a Pearly Precious who is a member of First Baptist Church in Rincon.”
They said, “She’s a member of Woodlawn Baptist Church in Baxley.”
That’s when we realized the mix-up. There were two women with the same name! So I just went ahead and prayed with the other Pearly and left to call the house of my Pearly. She answered the phone, and I asked how she was doing. She said, “Just fine.” When I told he what happened, she said, “I haven’t been in the hospital in years. But that explains why somebody called and asked about my surgery!”
Psalm 138:8 (HCSB) says, “The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.” If I was a pagan, I would think my perchance visit was purposeless. But the Precious family from Baxley was pleased to have a pastor pray with them, and the Precious family from Rincon was proud that their Pearly felt just peachy. Yes, God has a plan and a purpose for all people, even pastors and patients who don’t plan to pray together. What plan do you perceive He has for you?
(Copyright 2011 by Bob Rogers.)
Bob Rogers 