Top Ten Things NOT to Give for Mother’s Day

 Copyright 2012 by Bob Rogers

Like many men, I am not a very good gift-giver. I wait until the last minute and run out to Wal-Mart. Or I get a gift that I think she wants, instead of what she really wants. When I was a young husband, I got my wife an iron for her birthday. It’s due to God’s grace and my wife’s patience that we’re still married. Some men reading this just asked, “What’s so bad about giving her an iron?” So for you guys who don’t know any better, here is a list of the Top Ten Things NOT to give your mother on Mother’s Day:
10. A plaque from Kroger that says “World’s Greatest Mom.”
9. A “God Loves Mothers” ballpoint pen that they give out at church on Mother’s Day.
8. A membership at the YMCA.
7. A toaster.
6. A mop and a broom.
5. Exercise equipment.
4. A new shotgun.
3. Ammunition for the new shotgun.
2. Taking her to a wrestling match.
1. An Extra Large white T-shirt from Wal-Mart that says “World’s Greatest Mom.”

Okay if these gifts are so bad, what are the Top Ten GOOD gifts for Mother’s Day?

Here are the Top Ten GOOD Gifts for Mother’s Day:

10. Flowers

9. A new Bible

8. A gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure.

7. Take her out to eat.

6. If you can’t see her on Mother’s Day, call her and talk to her a long time and let her know you love her.

5. Take her on a surprise trip to see her mother.

4. A handmade gift from her children.

3. Dress the kids, take them to get their picture, and then frame the photo and give it to Mom.

2. Have Dad and all the children go to church with Mom and sit with her in church.

1. Clean the house, have Dad and the kids cook at home, and let Mom relax with all the family there.

About Bob Rogers

Hospital chaplain in Mississippi. Adjunct history professor (online). Formerly a pastor for 33 years in Mississippi and Georgia. Avid cyclist.

Posted on May 8, 2012, in Family, Holy Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Thank you for the great article. Love the Bible suggestion.
    But Moms also might also like one of these:

    1) She loves her mother, but instead, take your wife on a trip, just for her, so that she can relax, swim, get a massage. If you take her to see her mother, she wont be able to relax for herself. I don’t think wives would give their husbands a Father’s Day gift where they go to see their dads on that day.
    2) buy her a nice purse
    3) buy her that dress she was looking at
    4) bring the kids to the park or arcade for 2 hours, so mom can nap
    5) someone old enough to operate the washer, could do laundry for a week
    6) someone old enough to operate the stove, could cook dinner for a week
    7) make a cake, cookies, or some other sweet snack that she likes
    8) buy her some bottles of bubble bath and cologne
    9) have someone write her a beautiful poem telling her how much you appreciate all that she does for the family
    10) buy her two cute warm up suits or shorts outfits for when she has to run out to the store
    11) last, but not least, one expensive gift suggestion, is a woman cave, somewhere in the house, like the one for the man of the house, but with her hobbies and interests.

    When Father’s Day comes, we’ll offer him great gift choices too. 😊

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